Lonely is Normal

I don't want to be alone, with the monsters
inside my head and lurking under my sheets.
But why can't you just go away?
Everyone wants to be okay eventually.
But I don't.
I'm not happy, and I've accepted that
as a new normal.
I don't want to smile.. because, why?
What's the point of smiling
if you get sad all over again?
Smiling gets you friends, or rather
backstabbers.
And you end up crying anyway.
I can't say I enjoy being happy, and
I don't know why.
Is there something wrong with me?
I'm happy being sad.
I'm happy being unhappy.
I like to be alone,
but I really don't want to be alone.