Count to Three

I was standing in the rain
it was in the middle of a night
don't know where to go
don't know where to stay
don't know what to do
and don't know what to say
nothing to lose, no feelings by the way
no one to talk
just the music in my ears
nothing to lose
but my heart's full of fear
nowhere to go, nowhere to stay
nothing to lose, nothing to say
only a shoot and a run away
and I'm desperate

I'm asking myself, all the time
are we just born for being alive
and I don't want to see a way
no, I don't want to see the light
I see no direction
tell me, who leads to the right
I look to the sky
and ask myself
God help me on my way
through panic and wealth
not like everyone else
I don't want to be just a number of thousands
I say be who you are
take everything
leave back no ants
and sing

I want to reach foreign hearts
want to play out my only cards
but when I look in the mirror
I just see a white face
of a girl who's asking
is this the right place?
because there's a lot of hate
not always self made
and the pain is putting her down
because her mind tortures this place
I look for a last time at the face
white like a clown
push my fist into this and take a gun
look outside
close my eyes
and count to three