Forever.

I regret
not pulling myself away earlier.
but, I also regret
pulling myself away at all.

i’m going to miss 3am
the nights I felt almost safe
always peering at my computer screen
smiling endlessly as your name popped up
messages and messages
hours and hours
of conversations
that will never leave my mind.

its probably better off this way
no words spoken for weeks on end
but that doesn’t mean I have forgotten our past.
I fear, however
that you will
or, that you already have.
i’m easy to forget, but did I really mean that little to you?

inside the walls of my heart,
hiding quietly in the darkness
is a small cardboard box.
Ripped and torn,
its been there for a few years
beginning its life collecting dust, only to now be overflowing
on the box is your name
and the box is stuck there
forever.
I won’t ever be able to get over you
stupid box.

if I could tell anything to past me
I would tell her not to be stupid.
don’t let him take control of you
don’t change for him, because he won’t even care
don’t let “love” define who you are
don’t let the pain rule over you.
don’t allow yourself to fall inlove with him.