Tongue Tied

there are days when you
don’t want to talk and
you do so sparsely and
with reluctance

but you will talk on
those days

and there are days when
you don’t mind talking
and you do it more
than usual (no one notices)

you’ll talk and you’ll smile
and maybe someone will
look at you strangely
but no more than that

there are days when you
can’t talk when the
words won’t be forced from
your mouth because there’s
nothing of importance to say

but no one will understand
that the words may stick in
your throat but you
won’t make an effort to
force them out

these are the days when
you don’t want to be around
people because being around
people means you have to
talk (don’t they get it
you can’t)

and no
they don’t get it they
never get it and you
resent them for it
you hate them for how
easy it is for them
to find words to spill

from their lips and not
to have their tongue
tie itself in knots or
their heart to jump
into their throat

you resent them it
because they’ll never
understand how hard it is
for you
never understand the near
panic
that has attached itself
to the idea of speech

and every time they’ll
say
why don’t you talk more
you should make more
of an effort

and there are two words
you want to say

fuck
off

but they get stuck in
your throat