Don't Hold On

if there’s one thing
i hate about myself (and
trust me
i hate a lot of things
about myself but
mostly this –)
it’s that i can’t let you go

i can’t shrug you off
as easily as you’ve
shrugged me off

i still find myself
thinking about you and
thinking i should hate you
(and i want to hate you
so badly) but i
can’t

i can’t hate you as much
as i hate myself

and i think that
everything would be so much
easier
if i could just
hate you