Envy

Acid jealousy
Pulses through my veins -
I think of her tiny waist
Laid waste under my power
And shudder,
Then throw up into a bucket with fish on it.

I'm trying to purge this sharp-tongued hatred
From my skin, ignoring the pains,
Remembering how I was replaced
Left to face the agony, hour by hour -
I never wanted any other,
Or to be the one to fucking finish it.

Now I'm tearing at the venom
That's buried within my bones,
Down to the last atom of poison.

Now I'm looking for an antedote
Inside her bloodied ribcage
To turn away from this monstrous life.

The core purpose of my being
Is being
Ripped apart
By her frantic cries,
Her blood-stained thighs
And her deceitful heart.

I am limitless,
And yet I want to breathe her in,
To encompass her life in its entirety:
I am guiltless,
A repulsive bastard bathed in sin,
An animal who has no need for needy piety.

And suddenly, I am all alone,
Suffocating under the thoughts in my head:
And it's like home
When I stare into her glazed eyes and comprehend
The damage of my insane presence,
The aftermath of my possessive war on love.