If You Ever Thought You Should Die
I lay in a bead
Its on the floor
White walls agents a gray floor
The T.V. stays on all through the day
Trying to fill the silence that eats away at my hart
'You will always be a lone'
Her words rattle around my head
I spent seventeenth years in that place
A box with a roof and a maze of halls
A place you called home
But their was no hart
Only anger
Only yells
You had a new family
Two kids i real did love
But i was just the bastard
The leftovers of rap
And your husband made it clear
Just how much i did not fit in
With hateful words that burned
Yet nothing but salt water to show the crime
They all said i lied
It just got worse
You both took turns
I was " special"
And you made share i felt that way
Took control of my brain
Sometimes i wish he would just hit me
At least then i would know that in some way he loved me
Loved me enough to leave bruises
Loved me like how she did
With her turquoise rings and purple nails
How fucked up is that logic?
To think that love would be married to hate
Giving birth to misery
So i steal a scalpel used on frogs
At first the cuts were just for control
Then i cut because it felt good
I hide my arms and my knife
They never questioned
Not one concerns
I did what i was told
For their words held me like a noose
Then the cuts did not feel good
They were done because of reputation
They made me feel ugly
And i became everything they said i was
What was i doing?
I should just take my own life
Think of the kids
Your brother and sister
I could not leave them that way
So instead i ray away
And now i sit in this places
Were loneliness fills my hart
And old wounds of hatred mark my body
But then i remember my juggalo family
And this place no longer feels so empty
Their words fill the space
My homies have my back
And their love is showed with a big WHOOP WHOOP
Because 'Music is a lot like love, it's all a feeling
And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling
And nobody has to stay where they put
This world is yours for you to explore
There's nothing but miracles beyond your door'
And i know that is true
Because miracles are what got me through
And i love the Dark Carnival
There the family that i always wanted
And they welcomed me with warm arms
So if you ever fell this way
Like your life is just an empty void
And you think death would ease the pain
I want to give you a big WHOOP WHOOP
And let you know that this is your invitation
To witness love without explanation
To join are juggalo island
Because we cant all be together with out you
Its on the floor
White walls agents a gray floor
The T.V. stays on all through the day
Trying to fill the silence that eats away at my hart
'You will always be a lone'
Her words rattle around my head
I spent seventeenth years in that place
A box with a roof and a maze of halls
A place you called home
But their was no hart
Only anger
Only yells
You had a new family
Two kids i real did love
But i was just the bastard
The leftovers of rap
And your husband made it clear
Just how much i did not fit in
With hateful words that burned
Yet nothing but salt water to show the crime
They all said i lied
It just got worse
You both took turns
I was " special"
And you made share i felt that way
Took control of my brain
Sometimes i wish he would just hit me
At least then i would know that in some way he loved me
Loved me enough to leave bruises
Loved me like how she did
With her turquoise rings and purple nails
How fucked up is that logic?
To think that love would be married to hate
Giving birth to misery
So i steal a scalpel used on frogs
At first the cuts were just for control
Then i cut because it felt good
I hide my arms and my knife
They never questioned
Not one concerns
I did what i was told
For their words held me like a noose
Then the cuts did not feel good
They were done because of reputation
They made me feel ugly
And i became everything they said i was
What was i doing?
I should just take my own life
Think of the kids
Your brother and sister
I could not leave them that way
So instead i ray away
And now i sit in this places
Were loneliness fills my hart
And old wounds of hatred mark my body
But then i remember my juggalo family
And this place no longer feels so empty
Their words fill the space
My homies have my back
And their love is showed with a big WHOOP WHOOP
Because 'Music is a lot like love, it's all a feeling
And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling
And nobody has to stay where they put
This world is yours for you to explore
There's nothing but miracles beyond your door'
And i know that is true
Because miracles are what got me through
And i love the Dark Carnival
There the family that i always wanted
And they welcomed me with warm arms
So if you ever fell this way
Like your life is just an empty void
And you think death would ease the pain
I want to give you a big WHOOP WHOOP
And let you know that this is your invitation
To witness love without explanation
To join are juggalo island
Because we cant all be together with out you