September 15, 2013 - For Him

If you could read my mind, you'd see I never stopped thinking of you.
If you can paint a canvas on my skin, you'd see portraits of your faces embedded on it.
The coffee stain on my desk reminds me of late nights wondering of you,
My playlist replaying our song over and over,
The song you told me when I was in my old living room on 96th,
Iris,
How you said when you heard it, that it'd be our wedding song.
I pictured you in your tuxedo,
Me in a white dress that catured your eye,
And we'd dance to it all night,
people surronding us being but merely a blur.
How you promised me forever and I held your word to it.
Why am I crying.
Why?
I haven't spoken to you in 10 months.
10 solid months you've spoken merely 16 words to me, and that was once in Janurary and once in June.
And it's hurting, so fucking bad now.
If you could feel the pain I get at 5:22am every night when I sleep,
Or when I glimpse at the clock at 5:22pm the stab in my heart,
The tears streaming down my face because the rain makes me think of you,
Or how speaking your name is music to my ears and a stab to my stomach.
If you could see what you personally and mentally do to me,
Would you continue doing it?