Let It Go

No one knows what sets it off,
One minuet your thoughts are happy and free,
The next,
Surrounded by darkness,
Of a mistake you made in your past,
That you can't forgive yourself for,
Something that made you go red in the face,
Something that made you feel stupid,
You should have known better,
Known this wasn't going to work,
Known that it would all be a mistake in the end.
Stupid, insignificant decisions,
That no one but you remembers,
Thoughts that keep you up at night,
Reminding you of that mistake,
And the countless others you've made in your life,
Unable to let them go.
What must other people have thought?
"Wow that was stupid"
Or even worse:
"Poor girl, she must be so embarrassed"
Because pity is always worse.
You don't deserve pity,
Because you knew it was stupid,
And did it anyway.
And no matter how many times you say "it's over"
"You can't change the past"
"It wasn't the end of the world"
Only, it was,
Because now, that stupid, small insignificant decision is ruining your life,
Because it keeps you up at night,
It makes you doubt yourself,
And you are unable to let it go.