Emptiness

Empty
Like the many bottles that littered her bedroom floor
there toxic contents filtering through her slowly rotting liver

Empty
Like my heart
as I watched a mother embrace her daughter lovingly
knowing that I'd never get the satisfaction of feeling my own mothers arms wrapped around me

Empty
Like my sister's veins
as she ripped into her flesh with dull razor blades
Making sure to leave a scar she'd never forget

Empty
Like my brothers eyes
as he stared at his reflecting
Tracing every imperfection he saw
determined that he could "fix" them

Empty
like my fathers words
as he continued to make promises he's never keep

Our lives where like drained flowers whose pollen was greedily stolen by bees
we had nothing left to keep us going but our own will power
but how could we keep making these decisions when these voices kept whispering in our ears
"was it worth it?"
Our answers determined our cause
Laid out the foundation of our actions
We held our futures in the palms of our hands
Now whether we chose to crush them or not was completely up to us

Our hearts were like over used love letters that held no meaning
just repeated phrases dripping off a cheaters tongue
His suave words catching the hearts of many
Using their hearts in his circus full of lies
nameless faces surrounding every corner
each heart baring a number in 1, 2, 3 order

I wish that I could say that we were strong
That we knew the difference between trust and deception
Love and manipulation
but we didn't
our hearts had bled for so long
that any form of affection thrown in our direction our hearts would soak up hoping to heal it's because we were tired of feeling empty
We just wanted to feel something more than hurt
And maybe if we had just opened our eyes just a little bit wider
we would have seen that we were chasing its exact definition

We were stupid
we were reckless
we were clueless at best
Thinking every open palm was save to eat out of
that all open arms were warm and inviting
We never saw the poison mixed with the food
Never felt the coldness of their embraces
and instead chose to live in our own land of denial
A land in which we did not have to face the truth
Knowing that if we even uttered our concerns out loud
we'd be forced to live back in reality
Forced to face the fact that this just isn't healthy
Questioning why we torture ourselves
Only to run back into the arms of the enemy when our days were looking just a little bit brighter
because deep down er thought we deserved this
That this self mutilation was the only way to fill the emptiness
but we were wrong
We deserved more than bruised skin and mental scars
More than broken lies and glued lips
More than a false promise
Now whether or not we believed that ourselves it did not matter because we were worth it
We were worth more than their petty lies
than their dog leashes
than their constant stares and groping hands
We were worth more than their loveless apologies
We were worth more than this