Me or the Drugs?

Every night I would pray that someone would come and take my life away.
The next morning when my eyes would open, I'm still alive, I'm still copin.
I do not fear my final days; you made me like this with all of your sick and twisted ways.
You said you were clean, you swore to me that you were out of the game; were you doing this for a little fame?
I was your little girl when you left, not even six; did you do it to keep a few friends and for a few good kicks?
The first time you ran, I was barley one; when you were scared where did you run?
Look at me now... the third and final time you have left me.. it made me broken down and dead inside. I've got nowhere to hide. Please confide in me and tell me why you lied.
When I asked you to choose between myself and the drugs, you said me, then an hour later you were chillin in an alley with some thugs.
Were they that important to you? You always said that you loved me too... Was that just another lie? Please, I'm begging you, why?
You cheated on my mom and gave me a sister before you were thirty. Why were you so fuckin thirsty?
I wasn't even fifteen when I had to watch you lowered into the ground. I was so surprised that you were still selling that I couldn't make a fucking sound.
You haunt me in my dreams, it's tearing me apart at the seams.
You never cared about me.. I wish that you could see all the tears and scars that you have caused.
I remember you as being my big strong hero, now your life reminds me of Edger Allen Poe.
Why can't this pain just go away? Why couldn't you stay? I'm so sorry I let my pride get in the way.
Not a day goes by without a thought of you; you being murdered... still feels so untrue.