Finding a Sense of Meaning

i guess i love you
but i don't feel it anymore.
you're just another responsibility
and one that's hard to afford.

i've been hoping things will get better
but they don't seem to be
at all.
i don't even want to talk to anyone.

i don't want to lay in bed all day,
but i don't want to do anything else either.
does fun even exist?

does happiness?

i'm trying to hide the fact that
there is no point to anything
and my life is just a disappointment.
i don't want you to know you've won.

i think someone else's pain might be
my only fortune.
it's hard to keep myself back from hurting other people
because that's all that might make me feel alive again.