Am I beautiful yet?

all of the chemicals soak into my skin
which is peeling away with these potent formulas
a matte gloss of inhuman glimmer results in
some small shreds of self confidence
but a stiff face that cracks as it grins
am I beautiful yet?

each abrasive scrub I impress into my
my pale and splotchy flesh
only exaggerates the pasty
white and red remnants of
impurities and anger set deeper within
am I beautiful yet?

my body is that of a size zero wannabe
uncomfortably twirling and
cinching in the mirror
pointing out dents and
imperfections
circling body parts
with my finger
reminding myself that there was a cosmo a while ago that
had that special lotion for the ashy elbows
and that the vogue from last season that
said waist-hip ratio was acceptable until
some trivial decimal
am I beautiful yet?