Turning the Stone One Too Many Times

i like to think
that one day i'll be okay
and that thought keeps me
alive
but then i start to wonder
how far away "one day"
really is
and whether or not it will ever come
or will i be stuck here forever
thinking of what if's and
if only's
associating my happiness to
other things that
might not ever show
and "why not"
courses through my veins like
a poison
contaminating my thoughts with death and
oblivion