"Hope That Never Beats"

I miss you, though I can't say that now.
I want you here without good reason.
Without knowing why I need you to stay
With every changing of the season.
I'm missing a part of me when you're gone
And it's hurts each time I watch you leave.
When you're not around the darkness crushes--
Thinking of you makes it hard to hope to breathe.
I feel the loss of you profoundly
As if a part of me has died as well.
So empty, lost and broken down,
While knowing you wake to a deeper hell.
I ache with the guilt, the heartbreak I gave
Still I want to keep you chained here
With selfish thoughts in half-desire.
I can't ask you to wait in pain and fear.
I miss you more than I can say in words
But you die a little each time we meet.
Knowing this, how can I ask you sweetly
When hope is a heart for you that never beats?