False hopes and sugarcoated dreams

I love you?
Who was I kidding?
I fucking hate you.
You don't look my way?
Of course you don't. Why would you look at me?
I'm just another stupid girl that doesn't fit in with you and your crowd.
I hate it.
I want you to want me.
I want you to hold me tight and never let me go.
Lately, I haven't been dreaming of anything but you doing just that.
You never will.
Who am I kidding?
You're just like the rest of them.
You don't see past the outer shell long enough to find out what I'm really about.
Why did I let this happen to me again?
What possibly made me think you would be different?
I thought you were a good person. I know you are.
Just not good enough.
I want to be able to say that you're mine.
I want to be able to get jealous over other girls that are with you without feeling guilty.
People built me up with false hopes.
People lie.
Why didn't I realize that sooner?
Maybe I don't want you.
Maybe I just want someone.
Anyone.
I want affection from someone who cares.
Someone who gives a damn and doesn't lead me on into false hopes and sugar coated dreams.