Behind Closed Doors

Behind Closed Doors

Feelings of being unwanted & only good for few things;
When I see his face, my heart sings.
Does he not feel the same?
I feel weighed down with all this shame.
It'll never end & follow me always;
The nights drag on just as long as the days.
Was it not meant to be?
Were we supposed to both be free?
He'd be disappointed in my thoughts. I'm not sure if I can let him in;
Even if I did, where to begin?
Hearts may be mended, but wounds & scars still show;
Where would I be if I were to just go?
Leave it all behind only to be stuck in this skin?
Leave it all behind & drown in all my sin?
The fire is fading out & I can't do without;
Someone please tell me what this is all about.
Trying to run, but getting nowhere;
I see it across the distance, but I can't get there.
What's the problem? Why can't I move on with all my dreams?
Fear & hatred fill all the spaces in between.
Pass it off as stress & get on with it;
If he knew my true thoughts, he'd pitch a fit.