Through the White Mist and Red Haze

"Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness,
Bringing torment and pain to others,
Oh damned soul wallowing in your sin,
Perhaps it is time to die."
(Ai, Hell Girl)

He wonders lately
Yes, lately because he’s never quite so sure of himself anymore
If it was all worth it
Damnation and endless suffering didn’t seem so real
What the hell was he thinking – signing over his soul
When it was just some straw doll with a red string around its neck
Red like maybe the rivers of hellfire he’s to be seeing soon
But with red – red eyes gazing so imploring at him and uttering such words,
And the thought of the red he’ll be seeing soon, burning him soon, plaguing his mind
– hell seems real
Do you finally get it, something in the back of his mind nudges, you’re goanna burn – was it worth it?
Worth it?
At that time? In that moment?
Yes.
Well, how about now? Is it worth it now?
He wonders why the voice in his head is so snarky, but maybe it’s just mad that it too is now doomed to hell

Well?
He knows he hasn’t answered that annoying voice yet – doesn’t think has an answer for it
All there is red, but no regret
No never regret
He did what had to be done – what seemed right to him
Following his own choices – he can’t regret that, but he can’t answer that voice either

Though that gentle rocking –
Hey! Where’d this canoe come from?!
Wasn’t helping his thoughts any
Back and forth – back and forth, through the impossibly white mist rising from the river, the canoe swayed back and forth
But even with the voice urging him, he doesn’t care about the sudden appearance of the canoe or the skeletal like arms holding him, tightly and firming, against the canoe’s mass
He only notices red
The red eyes of the girl – so small and fragile looking for such a job – holding the only oar and leading them through the white smog t-to – to
Hell

“This is – I’m just… I’m goanna be okay right? Th-this is just a dream, right?”

"This is vengeance, so I am to ferry you to hell."
(Ai, Hell Girl)