Forget

With every second fading by,
I come closer to the moment when I'll pass.

And in the evenings when I cry,
I know at last, that I have what no one has.

I have these scars,
Staining my heart.

So close yet so far,
It's ripping me apart.

Still standing, watching it fade,
Hiding my ugly whilst I join the masquerade.

They ask me if I'm that fool,
This fool ruined it all and never was it cool.

No body knows I feel this guilt,
How I use warmth as my quilt.

No body sees how I fall apart,
Never knowing I hope to restart.

These blue skies,
Make me feel free.

From that disguise,
That was killing me.

This heart inside,
Has me smile.

Before I'd hide,
All the while.

Yet now I'm facing up to what I've done,
And this demon knows how she never won.

Never when she threw rocks at loved ones,
But before she carried far too many tons.

Now she can run,
Without fearing.

What she has done,
The end is nearing.

This girl is on fire,
This girl is inspired.

Inspired to aspire,
Yet her wings tire.

Holding her back from a future,
A beautiful, wonderful adventure.

Holding her back from beautiful seas,
Guiding her away from outstanding trees.

Making this girl lie in a pit of despair,
Where no one can hear her prayers.

Forcing this growing girl to stay there,
'Till she gives them back what's theirs.
Their hope and strength,
How she robbed them at great length.

How she gave up on health,
She didn't only just hurt herself.

Every scar on her wrist,
Every tear staining her cheek,
They would often persist,
Yet she protested, she was weak.

They begged her to stop,
Have the ball drop.
Yet never did she listen,
The blood would glisten.

She'd smile as the crimson poured,
Laughing 'till she turned bored.

She'd wipe her bloody tears,
'Till she'd eroded painful years.

She'd laugh in their face,
Whilst they watch on in disgrace.

She'd fall hopelessly to the ground,
Yet her loved ones were around.

In the end, she gave up the pain,
Allowed herself to see light again.

Yet she had burnt those she loves,
The deserving and devoted doves.

She had let their hearts bleed out,
She'd seen them scream and shout.

Watched her mother cry crimson tears,
A mother facing her few fatal fears.

A foolish daughter cutting herself,
Driving herself down and her health.

Watching it burn and laughing all the while,
Whilst inside, the demon refused to smile.

Poor father watched his angel die,
Saw her give up on the will to try.

Tried to save her, yet she wouldn't fight,
She believed she was happy, soaring in flight.

But she was a flightless bird,
Lost in a body so absurd,
Slits on her wrists, so ugly,
Yet she's smile so smugly.

Thinking she had won,
Thinking she'd beaten life.

But now she felt done,
Feeling lost; never alive.

If I could, I would forget,
All the sins I come to regret.

If I could, I'd kill that girl,
Because she just hid herself.

Let down all she loved in her world,
Damaged her mental and physical health.

Whilst her family broke their bones,
Her friends had to hear her moans.

They heard her cry out again,
Cry out in imaginary icy pain.

Her family broke themselves in two,
Didn't know what to ever say or do.

Now this angel has recovered her wings,
But she feels low, with what the past brings.

She's reminded of a demon so lost,
Giving up everything, unaware of cost.

She remembers a girl so lost inside,
Who rather than grow, decided to hide.

She recalls letting down all she loves,
Giving up on singing and sweet doves.

Forgetting about beauty and heart,
Forgetting about herself at the start.

A beautiful, innocent and pure girl,
Yet this girl tortured her own world.

Regret fills her body,
Killing the melody,
She fears everybody,
Welcoming anybody.

Just to make her feel alive,
Teach her meanings to life.

For her family, she can't fall,
It costs too much to lose it all.

And she fears how she stands tall,
Because if she falls, can she call?

After what she did,
And who she hurt,
Can life be splendid?
She wore such dirt.

It became her mask,
As fake as cartoon.

Never did she ask,
For the sun or moon.

Yet she did wish,
To someday accomplish,
Her wildest dream,
Of owning the TV screen.

Starring as herself,
Recovering her health.

But angels should not sin,
Because of that, can she win?
When she bled tears from her skin,
How can she ever trust what's within?

Can she ever begin forgetting?
Or will she forever be regretting?

For this bird refused to fly,
And this angel longed to die,
For one reason, she’d cry,
When she never thought to try.

She'd rather lie in her own self-pity,
Than grow new wings and show this city.

How this angel really can fly,
And someday, she'll reach the sky.

All of heaven will hear her cry,
And they will assure she'll never die.

But if this angel wished for death so much,
How can she be worthy of heaven's touch?

She scarred her skin and killed her hope,
She let herself fall when offered rope.

She hurt those she loves and never cared,
Never thought about how much they’d shared.

She acted carelessly back then,
And maybe she'll relapse again.

What could they do if she ever fell?
They should give up on their angel.

For she has hurt them too much,
She doesn't deserve heaven's touch.

This angel is lost and she needs to grow,
Because she can't live in a world unknown.

One where life is portrayed as a show,
Where in a crowd of people, she's alone.

She hears their shouts aloud,
How demons call her back.

But she ditches her crowd,
Rejecting wings so black.

Her wings will be white,
If she ever does have them.

Therefore, she'd never fight,
And needn't have any problem.

But how can she forget,
All that she must regret.

The crimson on the floor,
The innocence no more.

The fall of those she loves,
The death of deserving doves.

The fire burning away her life,
Telling her lies about being alive.
Preparing her for the worst,
She never put others first.

Yet now she puts herself last,
To make amends for the past.

Can she ever move on?
Now that this angel's done,
Trying to be gone,
Just 'cos she never won.

Even if she doesn't win the fight,
Maybe she could win the war.

Yet true angels should stay in light,
Unless they know what to fight for.

She must fight for her respect,
Become more than they expect.

Become a bird with her wings,
Light being all that she brings.

She must forget these scars on her skin,
These scars that have her over-thinking life.

All angels must sometimes sin,
Or how can they actually be alive?

Nobody is perfect,
She deserves her respect.

For she has grown,
And her wings have shown.

How this angel has learnt,
And hope to die, she daren't.

For life is her chance,
To lose this silly trance.

And become the beautiful bird,
Who knows where she can be,
And with every written word,
I remember that the girl is me.

I remember my story,
How it holds no glory.

Yet it is as truthful as it can be,
And the words that tell the tale,
Combine to reveal the true me,
How I will try tonight without fail.

But I'll still lose,
I must chose.

Where I go,
What I know.

Where to start,
With a broken heart.

One that I broke apart,
Maybe now I can part.

From my past,
Hope may last.

If only I could forget,
All that I still regret.

Yet remembering it makes me grow,
And sometimes I shine a little more.

For I know what I'm fighting for,
And this life is all that I adore.

Thanks to you,
You saved me.

All you went through,
Just so I could be free.

I miss you,
I thank you now.

For I'm not blue,
Somehow.

And I'm free to never forget,
All that I will always regret.

For I need to remember,
Pain caused last November.

I need to at last see sense,
Never putting on a pretence.

And with your help, I can smile,
Never bleed again in this life.

I can be happy all the while,
And know inside, I'm alive...