All I Am

i am an expert
in holding myself together

even when all i am
is a few million
pieces held
in place by
old crumbly glue

which is actually
a lot of the time

and mostly when
i’m around others (what
is it about that? you’re always
loneliest
when you’re surrounded
by other people)

because all i’m seeing
is them
happy
and i’m not (even if
they think i am
even if i can fake it
like the best i’m
not i’m not)

i’m not and i
wish i was