Why Bother
So lost and hopeless.
Each day it's harder and harder to get up.
My health worsens continually.
My anger grows with it.
Why am I still doing this?
I'm so angry and so bitter.
I just want things to change.
I don't believe they will but I hope.
I hope only because I don't want to end up like last time.
If I pretend then it gives me enough to keep going.
I'm not happy, but that's ok. I don't need to be happy.
I just don't want to be miserable anymore.
I want to go. My family keeps me here though.
After losing my brother I saw how hurt they were/are.
Some days I'm jealous of him. Jealous he left this place.
What a wreck I made my life.
Years later and I struggle to repair the damage.
What do they expect me to do with this disaster?
Each day it's harder and harder to get up.
My health worsens continually.
My anger grows with it.
Why am I still doing this?
I'm so angry and so bitter.
I just want things to change.
I don't believe they will but I hope.
I hope only because I don't want to end up like last time.
If I pretend then it gives me enough to keep going.
I'm not happy, but that's ok. I don't need to be happy.
I just don't want to be miserable anymore.
I want to go. My family keeps me here though.
After losing my brother I saw how hurt they were/are.
Some days I'm jealous of him. Jealous he left this place.
What a wreck I made my life.
Years later and I struggle to repair the damage.
What do they expect me to do with this disaster?