When I Write

When I write about feelings inside,
About forever being pushed aside,
And how wrong we are to hide,
More people seem to take my side.

When I write about demons and angels,
No one understands the tales Angel tells,
And not one person will ever know,
Why it is they go on to fall forevermore.

But when I write about who I am,
That I am a girl trying to give a damn.

When they see past the Shakespeare,
Writing words about love and atmosphere.

When they look beyond romance,
And see the girl lost in a selfish trance.

When they realise that I fall apart,
Whenever anyone questions my heart.

They will know that my true words are these,
That in the past I have been a kind of disease.

I have made myself ill,
Blood was for me to spill,
Poison leaked my veins,
Loved ones know the pains.

The pains of having a broken girl,
Break herself apart in their world.

And make them believe that she is lost,
All because she wouldn't pay the cost.

Those who read my words,
About beautiful birds,
And angelic little angels,
Stories she tells.

They think that it is a reflection of me,
But you can't find me in the blue sea.

Or the heavenly skies I use in my pieces,
You will see me in the cracks and creases.

You will see me breaking apart,
Because my father is a liar,
He's loved me from the start,
But he will always be a denier.

He will say that he is fine,
And he'll cross the line.

Saying that you have to work in this life,
And that I never appreciate being alive.

But these words I write about love and hate,
These are the words that you shouldn't grate.

The words about angels being broken and done,
Are the words that I wrote when I never won.

Though win I did, for I have a home,
One where I can always come,
And if you will ever take anything from this,
Know that I know heavens sweet kiss.

For I have a family and a heart,
And bother will never break.

I will do anything other than restart,
Because these memories no one can take.

I have screwed up my life,
But now I will fix the bad.

And I will prove that I appreciate being alive,
I will prove this to all of you and my only dad.

And these are the words that will have me strive,
For I am the angel who will worship being alive.

So when I write about pain,
And never knowing light again,
Know the truth, that isn't me,
I am the girl who is already free.

Those girls who have been kidnapped,
Raped and tortured against their will.

Those who have never snapped,
They're the ones to reach that hill.

Where grass is far greener on the other side,
And they will never have a need to hide.

Where they can be free in their own skin,
Then they'll believe they can again begin.

Without eyes to watch them sleep,
And hearts not caring when they weep,
They are the angelic angels torn apart,
Not this girl writing this with a fixed heart.

So don't pity them for their pain,
Respect them for trying again.

And care for them, for they have learnt,
That life has always had them burnt.

Teach them what it is to be free,
And love them for all they want to be.

Remember that inside there's a girl,
Lost in such an unknown, bland world.

When I write about lost halos,
And these put on shows,
It is every single one of those shadows,
Who deep down really knows.

What it is to lie awake,
Knowing you might break,
And all that is at stake,
So we'll fight this earthquake.

Together,
We will gather.

And beat evil,
Fight every devil.

For we are strong,
And I was wrong.

To write about what I never knew,
But these are the words for you.

Stay strong,
Feel complete.

It isn't long,
'Till we defeat.

Every demon and every bell,
That rings whenever we don't do well.

We will fight 'till our inner angel,
Sings out our stories that we're too shy to tell.

And those angels will never again know true hell...