May 1st

My heart beats fast,
My mind pounds hard,
My eyes darken,
And the room spins ‘round.

My body feels weak,
Never comfortable,
Always tired,
Hard to keep moving,
To keep my eyes opened.

The coldness fills quick,
Wrapped in cozy blankets,
Trying to stay warm.
Sleep takes me,
Like a captor in the night,
Never to live.

My stomach full,
Of guilt and self loathing,
and nothing.
My throat burns,
And my mind never real.

Trying to hide,
What is inside,
Not to seem weak,
In anyway.

Hide the weakned,
Gasping breaths,
Hide the slow falling streams,
Hide the silent screams,
Hide everything.

No cancer lingers,
Nor any disease,
So why do I frett about
Silly things.