Drowning

After all of this,
I've been told to let it go,
but that's like asking me to stop breathing,
that's like asking me to light a cigarette,
just to kill my lungs,
to stop the breathing.
I can't stop my thoughts about him,
I can't stop thinking of how his dumb eyes sparkled in the sunlight,
his touch,
how could you forget someone so beautiful.
I can't think anymore,
my thoughts are consumed of him,
like the ocean is consumed of waves and creatures we will never know,
all I want is him.
I want to hear his voice again,
I can't even remember it anymore,
his voice was something I thought would stick with me,
and now it's gone,
I'm drowning in my own head.

I'd rather be drowning in the ocean,
I'd rather let the ocean consume me.
I'd rather let the smoke and water fill my lungs as I go under.