Parking Lots and Bridges

You hate this town, but this is where you first loved her.
This is where you learned that love was hard.
Under that bridge is where you first told her she was pretty and you felt it in your chest.
On those steps you said you wanted to marry her and you meant it.
In front of that house, the one with the white fence, you told her that you were in love with her.
She cried so much that you saw her tears fall on the sidewalk but you didn't take it back.
Even when you were scared.
That's where you crashed your car and that's the hospital where she held your hand, holding you back.
That's the road you took every night you had to take her home and say goodbye.
That's the room you realized she was real.
You felt her breathing and her heart racing, for you.
That's your empty bedroom, where you told her you didn't love her anymore.
That's the church where you kissed her to prove you were still living.
That's the parking lot you lied in.
That's the house you breathed in her vulnerability.
That's the park you let her believe she wasn't a ghost to you.
That's the basement where you told her she mattered so she would stay next to you.
That's the bed where you felt her heart beat softly and you felt sick.
That's the floor you watched her sink into and die.
That's the river where she was born.
That's the bridge you crossed to forget about her.
That's the house that was different.
Nothing felt like her, smelled like her, tasted like her.
You didn't hear her voice or her name.
When you came back and held her arms you didn't feel a thing.
When you choked her, you tried to say her name and couldn't form the words.
That's the road you drove as she said she hated you.
That's the road you forgot her name.
That's the road where you drove away.
Sometimes you look up at your ceiling and wonder if you could walk the stairs to her room.
You wonder if you could remember.
Remember how to love her again.
Remember how to touch her skin without burning her.
Remember how to get to her house.
You wonder if she remembers you.
Remembers how you loved her once.
Remembers how you gave her the world.
Hope she doesn't remember.
You wish you could drive through this town without seeing her smile.
You wish you could forget how she felt under your finger tips so you could quit comparing.
You wish you could get her taste out of the back of throat.
You wish you could resurrect her and let her know that you meant no harm.
You wish you could have her love again.
You wish you could forget.