Coulrophobia

I cry the tears of a clown
Bitter droplets of pain
Misery and despair
Fall freely behind this mask
Painted on with care
Using a brush stained crimson
With blood from years past
Agony
Painted over
Like it’s nothing
Because sadness isn’t accepted
In this world of competition
Giving up isn’t an option
Failure is a dirty word
And perfection is my ambition.
What you see is a smile
Rotting slowly away
The outcome of my inner turmoil
Shattered heart
Beating to the unsteady rhythm
Of death
And decay
Can’t stop now
So I paint the smile on another day
Crying clown’s tears
Ever wonder how I never smear?
Perfection is my ambition
Vulnerability is a crime
Punishable by suicide
I don’t need anybody
All they do is betray
And spike shameful clown’s tears
I’m not afraid of clowns
I’m afraid of the worthless
Wretch
Of a jester
I see giggling in the mirror
For she has forever
Made me
A coulrophobe.