I Found Myself Wanting to Kiss Her

I have a boyfriend
I like him well enough
I just don't think we work
I don't have the courage to leave
I have a boyfriend
One who I've had 2 months
One who I've been on one date with
One who I've never kissed
I have a boyfriend
But I wish I didn't
But I wish I could breakup
But I wish he was her
Not a her
Just her
I have a friend
She annoys me
She makes me smile
She is just her
We were at a party one night
A party where she got tipsy
Before she got tipsy
She said sorry
I had heard stories before
Of her partying
Of her drinking
Of her kissing
As soon as she said sorry
The butterflies fluttered to life
I knew why she was saying sorry
But it didn't happen
She had partied
She had drank
But she had not kissed
We played truth or dare
Only for a little while
Each time either of us was picked
I found myself hoping for one dare
One moment where it could happen
Not by my hand
Not with harm to anyone
Not meaning anything
Just her lips on mine
I know it's wrong
I know I'm horrible
I hate myself for it
In all honesty
I don't deserve my boyfriend
In all honesty
I don't deserve her
In all honesty
I'm a horrible
Self loathing
All around bad person
Because that night
Not truly for the first time
And probably not for the last time
I found myself wanting to kiss her