22
22 - It's my 22 birthday and I have just been informed that my older brother committed suicide last night. He had a whole prescription bottle of anti-depressants in his system. His body was found on the floor of his bathroom, dried blood coated his arm. His roommate found the note, and it was addressed to me. The first line read "Baby sis, I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you like I had promised time and time again.
21 - For my birthday, my big brother took me out drinking. I was so wasted that I didn't even realize I was in the wrong car. I was found 37 hours later.
20 -
19 - None of my so called 'friends' from high school want to even be seen with me, let alone want to talk to me.
18 - I tell my parents that I have started my transition, and that I am taking the testosterone hormone pills. My mother starts crying and my father gives me one blow for every tear that falls down her cheeks.
17 - I start going to the library after school. I have more fun losing myself in the hundreds of books than I do at home, with my family.
16 - It's my brother's birthday and he tells me his wish after our parents went to bed. He tells me that he wished he could kill me, so he wouldn't have to see me suffer anymore. That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.
15 - It occurred to me that maybe my father started drinking again because my brother let my queerness slip while I wasn't around.
15 - My brother doesn't come home again. It's midnight and my father is racing out the door, my mother is crying into the phone, and I know that he will be crawling through my bedroom window in less than an hour.
15 - I tell my best friend that I'm gay. He stops talking to me.
15 - I tell my cousin that is like my best friend that I'm gay. She tells her whole side of the family.
15 - I tell my brother I'm gay. he hugs me, kisses my forehead, and tells me he loves me.
14 - My mother and father sit me down and tell me the truth that they had been keeping from me for fourteen years. I was an accident child. My brother is the only one that showed any sort of sympathy for me.
13 -
12 - I see the other girls bodies changing, but mine stays the same. Then I start thinking that maybe I don't want to have boobs.
11 -
10 - My cousin and I were talking about a boy that she has a crush on. That's when I started to think about why I don't have crushes on boys, and why the girl that sits next to me during math looks so pretty when she wears a dress.
9 -
8 -
7 -
6 -
5 - I want to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast. And I want someone like my big brother to be the Beast.
4 -
3 -
2 - There is a really, really big thunderstorm outside with bright lightening and loud thunder. I run from my room and out into the living room, but I can't find Mommy or Daddy. So I go back to Big Brother's room and quickly open the door. I see him sitting on the floor, a big ouchie down his arm.
1 -
0 - When my parents found out they were pregnant with me, I wonder if they thought about abortion. Because looking back now, I think it would have been a smart decision on their part.
21 - For my birthday, my big brother took me out drinking. I was so wasted that I didn't even realize I was in the wrong car. I was found 37 hours later.
20 -
19 - None of my so called 'friends' from high school want to even be seen with me, let alone want to talk to me.
18 - I tell my parents that I have started my transition, and that I am taking the testosterone hormone pills. My mother starts crying and my father gives me one blow for every tear that falls down her cheeks.
17 - I start going to the library after school. I have more fun losing myself in the hundreds of books than I do at home, with my family.
16 - It's my brother's birthday and he tells me his wish after our parents went to bed. He tells me that he wished he could kill me, so he wouldn't have to see me suffer anymore. That was the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.
15 - It occurred to me that maybe my father started drinking again because my brother let my queerness slip while I wasn't around.
15 - My brother doesn't come home again. It's midnight and my father is racing out the door, my mother is crying into the phone, and I know that he will be crawling through my bedroom window in less than an hour.
15 - I tell my best friend that I'm gay. He stops talking to me.
15 - I tell my cousin that is like my best friend that I'm gay. She tells her whole side of the family.
15 - I tell my brother I'm gay. he hugs me, kisses my forehead, and tells me he loves me.
14 - My mother and father sit me down and tell me the truth that they had been keeping from me for fourteen years. I was an accident child. My brother is the only one that showed any sort of sympathy for me.
13 -
12 - I see the other girls bodies changing, but mine stays the same. Then I start thinking that maybe I don't want to have boobs.
11 -
10 - My cousin and I were talking about a boy that she has a crush on. That's when I started to think about why I don't have crushes on boys, and why the girl that sits next to me during math looks so pretty when she wears a dress.
9 -
8 -
7 -
6 -
5 - I want to be Belle from Beauty and the Beast. And I want someone like my big brother to be the Beast.
4 -
3 -
2 - There is a really, really big thunderstorm outside with bright lightening and loud thunder. I run from my room and out into the living room, but I can't find Mommy or Daddy. So I go back to Big Brother's room and quickly open the door. I see him sitting on the floor, a big ouchie down his arm.
1 -
0 - When my parents found out they were pregnant with me, I wonder if they thought about abortion. Because looking back now, I think it would have been a smart decision on their part.
♠ ♠ ♠
So recently I've been obsessed with rage poetry so yeah, I wrote one. For those of you who don't know, a rage poem, or rage poetry is I free-stand poem that is basically a poetic rant. Sometimes they are happy, some are depressing, some are really true rants, and some...well some are like this one. Either way I hope you liked/like it. (P.S. This isn't real, I was just in a creative mood I guess.) ~Alli ^.^