Not Supposed to Feel Like This

It's not that I don't want to talk,
But that I can't.
I want to compliment your shirt,
But I can will the words.
I want to tell you that I like that band,
But the anxiety holds me back.

I move like a shadow,
Always there,
But often forgotten.
I want to come out of my bubble,
But I can't open up.

I scream at the top of my lungs,
Until my throat hurts.
No one hears me scream,
The house is empty,
And the doors and windows are shut.

I'm losing my mind,
Stuck alone.
Afraid to let anyone in,
After how I let others rip giant holes.

The tears stream down my face,
And I want things to change.
Living's not supposed to feel like this.
Living's not supposed to feel like this.