False Hope

Why did you do that?
Convince me to do stuff for you, to show you things
Tell me that everything would be okay and to not be scared
Let me feel like I had someone who would be my best friend
Hold me on the basement carpet and make me want to be with you
Make me feel like everything would be okay
What the hell were you playing at
That's not something you can do
To a sad girl

Every time I was with you
Alone
There was nothing I was scared of
You were there
And nothing else mattered

You chiseled at my walls
I let the collapse
Hoping that someday
Your walls would come down too
And that I'd have someone to tell everything to
And that someone would trust me enough to tell everything to
But things didn't go as planned

Everyday I was happy and excited to tell you about my day
And you?
You didn't care
So I stopped
I stopped myself from talking to you on numerous occasions
Hoping you'd notice
But you never did

Throughout all this
I was hoping and hoping
That one day you'd love me the way I loved you
And that one day
You'd realize how fragile I am
And how easily I'm hurt
And how much you hurt me
So I pushed myself through those dark times you threw upon me

But it never happened
I completely opened up
There was nothing you didn't know
Nothing
My walls were just pieces of gravel
But then I found out
That maybe I'd gotten my hopes up too high
And everything collapsed

I'm an idiot
For thinking that we could be best friends who tell each other everything
I'm an idiot
For believing that you would someday open up to me like I did to you
But no
I found your walls
But they're out of my reach
I'm not good enough to break them down

I'm an idiot
For spending the majority of my days thinking about you
For staring at my screen, hoping you'd message me first
For staring at my screen, waiting for you to reply
For waiting for you
And realizing too late
That I simply was not good enough