Just Another Night

Tap… tap… tap…
you hear as you lay in bed,
“Not again,” you pray.
tap…tap…
it is.
You sigh and clutch your sheet,
hoping for a little comfort
he’s here again, throwing rocks
at your mother’s window,
like he’s some kind of Romeo
rather than the home-wrecker
you know him all to well to be.

Please go away you repeat
over and over again in your head
as you’re too afraid to make a noise
please don’t wake up you beg
as your father sleeps in another room

Your heart races every second that goes by,
you feel time has stopped
only for it to slow down
to give you enough time to
breathe before it catches in your throat
every noise makes you jump
you breathe in and out
trying to calm down
“Is it over yet?”, you wonder.

Yes it is, just for now
you savor the moment,
but still tense up.
There’s no telling
when the wrong night will be
and all hell breaks loose.

You freeze,
what’s that noise?
Your heart feels it will burst.
is this what a panic attack feels like?
you try to calm down
but now your imagination is too far gone
this is it…

Then nothing,
no noise,
it must have just been the wind,
you breathe more evenly now,
but still much too stressed to sleep,
instead you thank God
for another almost uneventful night

Hell didn’t break loose,
still no peace though either.
You sigh, you close your eyes,
you try to slow your heartbeat,
you clutch your phone
and you finally try to sleep
just another night.”