No More

What I did was inexcusable,
What I did was irresponsible,
What I did was hurt you so much,
What I did was shiver at your touch.

What I know is that I’m growing,
But I see your pain that’s showing,
Cos of what I did, it broke you,
It didn’t just break you, it broke you into two.

And now I don’t know why I’m writing,
I should begin trying or fighting,
I don’t know why I did it again and hurt you,
So much more than before.

I don’t know why I’m doubting,
Why I thought that shouting,
Would show all of me that’s true,
But now, these scars are no more.

I’m going back to what I was,
She who needed no fuss,
Stronger than the both of us,
Never was she a wuss.

She didn’t run away,
She didn’t do this,
She didn’t ever say,
She’s done with this.

I don’t know why I did it,
But I guess I enjoyed it,
Yet I don’t enjoy the pain,
It always comes with.

I don’t know why I did this,
But I guess I hated bliss,
For you know it’s gonna end,
And I thought love is a myth.

But I guess you loved me,
Maybe even still love me,
I shouldn’t have done it,
Now I’m feeling like shit.

I should’ve resisted temptation,
Acknowledged humiliation,
Walked away from destruction,
Allowed myself to function.

I should’ve looked at who I was,
And seen who I was before,
Instead of causing another fuss,
I should’ve just said, “No more”.

Cos now I’m regretting,
And I won’t be forgetting,
What I did,
Oh, it’s not too splendid.

I’m afraid of what I am,
Cos I don’t understand,
Why life is no sham,
I saw no problem with it.

With wanting,
To leave this land,
And needing,
To be done with it.

I don’t understand,
Why I was never sure,
Whether to take a hand,
Or just say, “No more”.
♠ ♠ ♠
Thank you for understanding, if you did.x