Starved

Happy refills 20% off.
Replenish the void,
rehydrate your weary eyes.
I've cried enough
that without the tears
it feels like I'm drowning.

I have a need for speed
and the shine or nicotine stains my lips
like blood on a killer's hands.

I used to starve myself for days.
reject every meal that tried to get inside.

Now I'm recovered (or so they say)
and my arms are empty.
I've purged all stability
and sanity.

But all I want is that.

I want you.
your laugh, your smile.
Your touch gives me a calm no cigarette can induce.

You feed me with your kiss.

I know I've failed you.
With a shoulder like a tundra
and mood swings like a valley
that plateau on a mountain.

But please, dear God…just hold my hand
and understand
your love is keeping me alive.