Funeral Procession

Standing in the rain,
At your grave,
I stare at the tombstone,
While the priest you never met,
Speaks about what a great person you had been,

Everyone standing around in black,
With an umbrella in their hand,
And a broken look gracing their face,
I'm not listening,
Because I think this is a waste.
Funerals are for the living,
Not the dead.

I miss you,
I do,
But this is fake.
These people,
Most of them barely knew you.
This damn priest,
He's reading a script.
This pouring rain,
It's from the tears you would have shed,
If you had to see this.

I'm going to need help letting you go,
Yes,
But this only makes me believe more that you can't be dead.
I love you,
In the present tense.
You need to let free from this butterfly net.
The priest words are starting the infiltrate my head.
"She took her own life,
And she is dead,
But she lives on through God's grace"
Which is funny,
Because you never believed in him.

I'll never know exactly why,
You decided to take your life,
Yes sometimes,
I wish you'd left a note.
But,
I'm sorry I can't stay for this service.
I can't listen to him lie.
I run quickly away.
I let the rain pour down my face,
I try to cleanse myself of this useless sin.
I'll spend my days,
Sprawled out on the church's door step,
Drunk and angry with everything.
No one had the right to take you from me.

The rain pours down my face,
And I think that I need my time.
I will eventually get over you,
But for now,
I needed to pretend,
That you never left me.
Because that angered me.
You can't just leave me out to dry.
But you did.
I need to forgive you.
I need to put away the booze and the pills,
And I needed to face you head on.
And with that,
Your memory will be strong.

You left me,
And for that I hate you.
I need you and that was it.
I need to pick myself up off these church steps,
And so I do.
And the whole time,
I still love you.

The whole time,
I finally let you go.

5/26/13