How to Be a Good Girlfriend

I should
not provoke him so he doesn't
have to beat me up
to show me he loves me.

I should
not wear too much makeup so he doesn't
have to worry about making sure
to wash the sheets.

I should
have an IQ lower than 100 so he doesn't
have to talk only about sports
to feel smart.

I should
wear skimpy clothes so he doesn't
have to work too hard
to get them off.

I should
download dating apps so he doesn't
have to take me to dinner
to see me naked.

I should
buy Plan B pills so he doesn't
have to buy condoms
to have sex with me.

I should
sleep with him so he doesn't
have to kill me or
three other girls.