Stars

For some reason, I find it hard,
Letting go,
Having to finally discard,
Those memories.

Sometimes, I think,
That I know,
But then, I blink,
And I see those treasuries.

I smile,
Up at the sky,
And they smile back to me,
I wonder why.

It takes a while,
For them to shine,
But when they do, I see,
How I will be fine.

I hear the tune,
About science apart,
And how life can be,
So damn hard.

I may be blue,
But I have this heart,
And it beats for me,
So I must never discard.

What makes me human,
But also,
What makes me a star,
What makes me shine.

They might someday understand,
That if I go,
I’ll never get this far,
Not in a long time.

Before, I was guessing,
Now, I am testing,
I am braving defeat,
I am hearing the beat.

Inspiration at its core,
I can’t lie like before,
Come back and haunt me,
For I can’t be.

Fine, without you,
The obsession,
The task I must get through,
Almost my possession.

But I am its possession,
I am overruled,
And this is my confession,
I have been fooled.

I may shine sometimes,
But not like these rhymes,
Not like that girl,
Who took back her world.

Not like she,
Who always wins,
And she never,
Appears to sin.

I wish I could be,
Seen as a star,
Then I’d forever,
Go far.

Stars shine my way,
I hope they live forever,
Because I can’t stay,
When I’m not together.

Stars build me up again,
When I break down,
Stars make me feel pain,
When I need to frown.

When I need to remember,
What it is I have,
When I need to see her,
Just to have a laugh.

I’ve lost a part of me,
I don’t smile like I used to do,
I don’t feel like this is real,
I feel like there’s something I need.

To say,
Or do,
I can’t stray,
Or succeed.

Until I try,
Until I achieve,
I can’t cry,
I must believe.

I can’t lie,
I must relieve,
I can’t die,
I must breathe.

I don’t know how,
She smiles now,
How can she smile?
Whilst they fall.

I don’t understand,
Why she’s better than I am,
Then I think for a while,
And I see how I may be tall.

But in comparison,
I am small,
But maybe in unison,
We own it all.

I’ve never been brave,
I hope someday I can be,
I’ve never had to save,
A member of my family.

I’ve never had to scream,
I’ve never had to cry,
But still I would dream,
And I’d never try.

Now I am trying,
Yet I am falling,
I am not crying,
Yet I am calling.

My song isn’t enough,
I must grow tough,
Because I’m done,
With shadows.

I’ve won,
No ‘morrows,
But I will,
And I still.

Believe that I can do this,
If I try at it,
Rather than giving in,
Maybe, I’ll win.

But is it about winning?
Or even losing?
Does it matter if you’re sinning?
Or if you’re still choosing?

I don’t know,
Maybe, I don’t want to,
Because if I go,
I have to wake from you.

My sweet pleasure,
Hiding in my sleep,
My dearest adventure,
With me whilst I weep.

Save me now,
For I somehow,
Have lost myself,
I have lost myself.

I don’t know why,
And I don’t know how,
But I know that I,
Can live this out now.

I need to think,
Rather than blink,
I need to wake,
Rather than break.

Stars shine my way,
But I want to join them someday,
I’m done being a shadow,
For I can’t see tomorrow.

I am hidden,
Maybe even forbidden,
I am fatigued,
I wanna succeed.

But I am broken,
And they have spoken,
Maybe I am done,
But how could it have been won?

When there is no winner,
And there is many sinners,
Who can never take the name,
That brings a man to fame.

I needn’t fame though,
To be happy someday,
All I need is to know,
That I know my way.

I’m seeing darkness,
But I am hoping,
That soon, I’ll remember,
Why it is I’m coping.

I’ll find happiness,
That I have to be sure of,
Because if I never,
Then I’ll give up on.

Everything that I am,
All that I understand,
All that I love,
All blue skies above.

I may give in,
If I don’t sin,
If I don’t fight,
If I don’t try.

I may lose,
If I don’t choose,
What is right,
And who am I.

I may fall,
If I don’t recall,
What I am,
How I understand.

I will break,
If I don’t overtake,
This illness,
This unhappiness.

This pain,
Can’t ever reign again.