Doomed From the Start

“Okay, bye.”

Last words. Stupid words. Why did I say them? I don’t even know your name.
What an enigma you were. How different from everyone else
How different from me
But
Zain, Zain, Zain, that’s not your name.

Minutes tick by
Stretching into eternity
I can’t help but check my phone
You’ve made me an addict
But
Zain, Zain, Zain, that’s not your name.

Did I think you would call back?
Yes
Am I sad you didn’t?
Yes
Am I ashamed of what I did?
No
Because
Zain, Zain, Zain, that’s not your name.

Our time always had a poem in it
Even though you called them stupid
From that first laugh
Yours or mine
It was destined to end with a sad poem
Because
Zain, Zain, Zain, that’s not your name.

Did I try and hold you in a box?
Yes, but you alluded me
And am I so easily replaceable to you?
Apparently
You, who has answered only two of my questions
And me, who you know everything about
Ah, but
Zain, Zain, Zain, that’s not your name.

Four more minutes have passed
I’ve deleted you from my phone
I can’t call you
I can’t do that to myself
You won’t call again
I know that
because
Zain, Zain, Zain, that’s not even your name.

Are you proud of me now?
Happy to see me teary eyed with a bottle in my hand
I’m not weak. I’ll be fine tomorrow. I’ll be fine.
Because
Zain, Zain, Zain, you never told me your name.

And that’s what it boiled down to
You were a figment of my imagination
My hopes and dreams, something that could never be
I should have known better
I did at the beginning
But then the texts were fast and sure, the conversations interesting and long
But all through that, through it all
Zain, Zain, Zain, I never knew your name.