Rumors.

I heard that creativity can be triggered
by lack of sleep
and it got me wondering if there
could be something to that
so here is to me
not sleeping for days
while my mind runs wild
with these thoughts that won't make any sense
when I wake up in a year
or two
or whenever my mind decides
that I don't have to be dead to live.

I heard that there is a way
to trick yourself into thinking
that there is a purpose to life
so here is to me
finding a way to fit in
with purpose
and wondering if a college education
is really what I need to find myself
or if intelligence
can be found in every day life
of the every day person.

I heard that there is no such thing as writer's block
and that got me wondering
if maybe it is not my mind
but me holding myself back
from the life I have wanted to live
because there is nobody else
to remind me of what I know is true
that I do not deserve
a single thing to myself
not a single thing
that I can call my own
whether it be items, ideas, people
they all belong to something so much bigger.

And I am just so small.