Did War Change Me?
sometimes i think i'm falling apart
could i be considered sick? i wonder.
sometimes i think the world is spinning too quick
hush can you hear that, i think god is calling. I wonder
would it be wrong for me to call it quits
maybe god can hold for just a bit
even when i sit my hands start to shake
my mentality may be starting to break
the truth is your words may be becoming fake.
Are my twisted dreams trying send me a message
sometimes i sit back and think about my depression
i wonder how would it mix with some aggression
didn't i already learn this lesson?
People may say that i may seem strange
People may say i only hear what i want to hear
Could i be considered insane?
take the words and rearrange till its clear to my ears
sometimes i say this must be the end
sometimes i wonder is this demon my only friend??
sometimes i wonder when i prayed is this what he sent
sometimes i think im in space
people may even say the same
looking for me but without a trace
turn back and walk away with shame
I've done things that may have promised me a place in hell
but i did it for the well
being of people who fought and fell
i joined to fight this war now i cant look back and bail
No i wouldn't call this PTSD i call it my insanity
i like what iv'e done but fathers cant always say the same to their son's
There is never a war that we have truly ever won
Because in war the fathers end up having to bury their sons
People could or would never understand us
thus i will never show any compassion
and its funny when they act up and show their reactions
like they done something more then us.
18 years old fighting a war with scars
that could never go
Plus losing brothers watching their life go.
we don't want to start a fight we just want to be left alone.
Sometimes i wish i knew where home really is
sometimes i cant remember from where i came
so i sit back and write out a list
from all the things iv'e done
i wonder if i could ever be a father and have a son
would he fallow my foot steps join the service and pick up a gun
go to war and let the cycle start all over again.
I wonder if i was put here only for this reason
I wonder if this demon will always be my only friend.
could i be considered sick? i wonder.
sometimes i think the world is spinning too quick
hush can you hear that, i think god is calling. I wonder
would it be wrong for me to call it quits
maybe god can hold for just a bit
even when i sit my hands start to shake
my mentality may be starting to break
the truth is your words may be becoming fake.
Are my twisted dreams trying send me a message
sometimes i sit back and think about my depression
i wonder how would it mix with some aggression
didn't i already learn this lesson?
People may say that i may seem strange
People may say i only hear what i want to hear
Could i be considered insane?
take the words and rearrange till its clear to my ears
sometimes i say this must be the end
sometimes i wonder is this demon my only friend??
sometimes i wonder when i prayed is this what he sent
sometimes i think im in space
people may even say the same
looking for me but without a trace
turn back and walk away with shame
I've done things that may have promised me a place in hell
but i did it for the well
being of people who fought and fell
i joined to fight this war now i cant look back and bail
No i wouldn't call this PTSD i call it my insanity
i like what iv'e done but fathers cant always say the same to their son's
There is never a war that we have truly ever won
Because in war the fathers end up having to bury their sons
People could or would never understand us
thus i will never show any compassion
and its funny when they act up and show their reactions
like they done something more then us.
18 years old fighting a war with scars
that could never go
Plus losing brothers watching their life go.
we don't want to start a fight we just want to be left alone.
Sometimes i wish i knew where home really is
sometimes i cant remember from where i came
so i sit back and write out a list
from all the things iv'e done
i wonder if i could ever be a father and have a son
would he fallow my foot steps join the service and pick up a gun
go to war and let the cycle start all over again.
I wonder if i was put here only for this reason
I wonder if this demon will always be my only friend.
♠ ♠ ♠
I am almost done with my service in the Marines as a 0311 infantry. I cant even put into words where or how i feel about going home. Feels like i am going to a new planet and my mentality as a civilian does not work well with it as a Marine. Wish me luck back into the civilian life.