I Love You But

how can i say i love you

when i haven't seen you
at 1am
falling asleep on your side
facing me
making little sleep noises and
whispering quietly

when i haven't seen you
waking up in the morning
with sleep still heavy on your voice
rubbing your eyes
begging for five more minutes and
holding me

when i haven't seen you
in all your glory
in all the bad times
in tears with red-rimmed eyes
in your hardest moments
where you just sit on your knees
and take it

i want to be there
how can i say i love you if im not