Her.

She always says i'm wrong.
I try and see things from her
point of view, i do. I spend hours
trying comprehend the insanity,
dissecting the calamity. In a failed
attempt to determine why each
moment i spend with her is a
battle. Dragged out, and long.

How could i be so blind?
Clearly she's lost her mind.
I feel like a victim to her venom,
as i get stung each breath she takes.
There is no talking to her,
or reasoning, no pleasing
her twisted mind. Be kind, i urge.
And with no remorse she insists
I am undeserving so she declines.

I feel the thump in my chest vibrate
against the lump in my throat. I reach
into my thoughts for a remark, or defense.
I almost feel dumb trying, or maybe its numb
or maybe its the pressure of being under her thumb.
Her purpose of the arguments never make sense.
Never the less, she absorbs my defeat as my will
to fight for whats right become much more past tense.

I let the tear walls build high behind my eyes I
let the burn coat my attention, causing tension to
stretch across the front of my brain, my name.
i hear my name, she says my name. soft. no.

NO ITS JUST IN YOUR HEAD. In one ear out the other.
I open my eyes, in search of another to turn to for
comfort but no one is ever there. my father is never there.
my brother. This is going to just be a new scar i'll have to cover
its end. no it NEVER ends. it'll never end with her.
She doesnt even like being my mother.