Lifeless Living

My arms are thrown in the air
As I try to walk away
I think the truth is I'm scared
Scared of living in pain

I lock the door to my mind
I don't want to venture in there
I've had plenty of nightmares tonight
Leaving me more than awear

I've practiced my paintings
Of life on my face
They're becoming quite dull
Now they all look the same

I've practiced my writing
Of stories on the floor
Words come from my arm
And hurt stings to the core

I'm addicted to words
The read me my life
As I attempt making it
Flash for my eyes

I feel wary and weak
And I cannot go on
I'm feeling defeat
Needles pricking my arm

My body feels lifeless
But my heart keeps it's beat
I wish it went slower
To lull me to sleep

But they won't let that happen
They send me to fight
Everyday is a battle
How is this called life

But alas, I keep going
No matter desires to stop
Because I will not die
Cancer won't be my clock