Sociopath

Calculating,
Every decision made,
Lying,
Just another game.

Knowing love,
Just never understanding it,
Giving up,
Just never knowing it.

He gave up on friends,
Thought nothing of it,
Drove himself to the end,
Never jumped off of it.

Got a guy in jail,
Said that they were friends,
Maybe they were,
Well, at least in his head.

Got a degree in medicine,
A very clever guy,
Even was a surgeon,
But let others pass by.

Potential lovers,
Potential friends,
Could’ve had a partner,
If he didn’t pretend.

Did he ever lie?
For, to him, a friend,
Could just be worthless,
Only good when useful.

She always thought,
That he wasn’t human,
But I refuse to be taught,
That I can never understand him.

I want to have hope,
In what I think is hopeless,
Because… well, I don’t know,
I don’t know why I’m like this.

Can’t see the disguise,
Can’t see the mask,
Could see it on myself,
But with him, it never lasts.

One minute it’s there,
The next, it’s gone,
I don’t know whether to stare,
And hope that I was wrong.

Wrong to ever see it,
Wrong to even dream it,
But is this good for me?
To just keep on dreaming.

His smile is acted,
I’ve known that a while,
But still, I panic,
When he doesn’t smile.

Can I make the sociopath human?
Can I make him my friend?
Can I make him my family?
Will he be loyal till the end?

If I spend my life searching,
Searching for clues,
Will I someday reach a moment?
When I just see no use.