To the Boy I Told Too Late.

Let's not talk about freshman year
well, except that one day in class
I think it was Halloween
when we threw markers and crayons at each other
like we were five
and you laughed and I laughed
and then we laughed some more
I swear I haven't laughed like that since
I wonder if you still remember
I don't blame you if you don't
or that one day when you came to class high
I guess I've always liked
guys like you
but you weren't a complete loser
like the rest of them.

It has been more than three years now
since you moved to Florida
to start your new life
you post pictures of your Mustang
I bet it goes fast
I can't help but imagine us in it together
laughing like we did that day
speeding along the coast
like something out of a Lana Del Rey video
you would probably be listening to Kid Cudi
you would
he's always been your favorite.

And you got a dog and named him Moe
anybody can tell that you love the little guy
I have never liked chihuahuas
they're tiny, but I find them absolutely terrifying
but he's cute
and he seems to make you happy
and I saw the picture you posted at your graduation
congratulations, you made it.

We seem to talk through pictures nowadays
I like yours to let you know
that I still haven't left your side
and you like mine because I'm not
the same girl from freshman year
sometimes we even leave hearts behind
I wonder how something so small can mean so much
it's us saying to each other
I am here and you still exist to me
we do not even have to use words, we leave it at that
too bad it was too late when I actually did find the courage to use words
two or three days before you left California
and you never came back.

Too bad we never had the chance to screw things up.

xoxo,
Your Cali Girl.