Hey, Best Friend

I've been trying to tell you
that you're being kind of a bitch
after that hitch in our relationship,
that glitch in your mind
that told you it was okay to date my ex.

I guess you just didn't know the cost
and I tried to pretend
that our friendship wasn't lost
but I wonder if it ever crossed your mind
that actions speak louder than words.

My frustration with you
has been kind of a pest,
and the latch to my chest
is being put to the test.
And you keep bashing it
with your feigns of innocence
saying you're trying your best
to forget all the rest
of our fights
and look forward.

But when I look back
I only remember
late night talks
with cereal at 3AM,
the way you can always harmonize
to my melody
and our never ending love of tea.

And I love you,
or rather
"Olive you."
The best two words to describe everything we are
everything we had
or have.
I don't know
how to deal with you
not being in my life
because the only fighting we ever did
was whether oranges or pears were better.
And I don't know when we let
those things disappear.
So I'm here
trying to let things out.

Maybe I'm coming on too strong
and I really shouldn't tell you this,
but I seriously wont miss
the silence I feel
when we don’t speak for weeks
on end
and we still pretend
to be as close as we were.

I still hide my frown
when people ask me
what's going on with you.
Because how should I know
when you don't talk to me.
And we're left wondering when
we can put on our
best friend necklaces
and mean it.

And now our friends are finding out the truth
and talking about it like a celebrity scandal
but behind closed doors.
And I'm torn between
wanting to know what they think
and hoping they don't link
the pieces of the puzzle together
and figure out
that I'm to blame as much as you.

But I'm more afraid
that you have designed yourself
according to their pattern,
fitting yourself to their measurements.
And I see you molding yourself
into the person they think you are.
You want me to turn a blind eye
to the problems I see
flying in circles like cartoon birds around your head
causing confusion that closes your doors.

I won't think you strange
if you think the same about me
because I know we've both changed.
So I won't put all the blame on you
but save some
to frame on the wall in my mind
so that I never forget
that friendship is a two way street.
And we must both want to meet in the middle
and little by little
maybe we'll both change in the same direction.

Maybe someday
we won't have to pretend to be happy
but rather, we'd be
the girls we saw
when we imagined
what life could be in the future
drinking tea in Boston
and you'd with your fuzzy socks on
and life, life
would be great.

And it's not fair for me
to put all the pressure on you
because if friendship is two way street
how you meet me there
when I'm stuck in yesterday?
And I don't want to wait for the day
but would rather seize it
and mean it
and want to call you best friend.

So I'll promise you
that I'll aim for the day
we change "I love you"
to "Olive you."