Lately

Lately,
I’ve been losing hope in faith,
I’ve been clinging onto hopeless dreams,
About you, but I can’t… say.

Someday,
I’ll move on from the doubt,
I can believe in myself,
Not just you, but until that… day.

Now,
I’ll have to look backward,
If I look forward,
I see you, and that’s not so… good.

I can’t… forget… even dreams,
They’re real, or so it seems,
Sometimes… I go too far, but it’s cos I’m feeling…
Lonely.

I don’t want to think now,
I just want to hide away,
I don’t want to freak out,
We can’t always have our way.

You… never want to listen… I… can’t blame you,
For I… I’m not always right, and you… aren’t here,
You’re just someone that I want,
Someone I feel like I need.

If I were in a better place right now,
You wouldn’t exist in the back of my mind,
But you do…
So I am not in a better place.

Though, I know one or two that are,
I can’t help but want to be with them,
I can’t leave my mother, my father, my brothers,
But I’ll never be like the others.

I want someone to hear me,
For I fear what I could do,
If I continue feeling so lonely,
If I continue only longing for you.

Clinging onto an endless dream,
One that can’t be real,
Because you are wonderful, it seems,
And I… I can’t even feel.

I can’t even feel the air I breathe,
I just feel you,
And you’re not here, so you can’t leave,
Sometimes inside me wants it to be true.

Those nice things I make you say to me,
I can hear them in my head right now,
But it isn’t the words that make me feel less lonely,
It’s the fact that you’re here somehow.