Sweater Weather

These over sized sweaters are here to hide
the boniness of my arms and chest
because i am terrified of getting bigger in size
and even though I've been keeping the food down
I still seem to feel guilty after
but they all like the girls who are pretty and thick
and I wish I could be like them
so I'll keep wearing these loose shirts
so they won't stop and stare
because i guess I'm getting thinner
but i really don't mean to
my mind won't let me and my body doesn't agree
with eating regular meals when other people eat
the gap between my thighs has gotten bigger in a year
from skipping meals to throwing up till i couldn't feel
the empty feeling made me feel okay
because i was feeling too much and there were too many thoughts in my head so i emptied my stomach
instead of trying to think things through
i thought more about the contents in my stomach and the number on the scale
because they were the only things that i knew were real