The Prayer of A Distant Heart

In the darkness
I reside.
Why do You
Seem to hide?
Come to me.
I need You now.
Relieve these tears
Before I drown.
I want to love You
More and more.
I want to know
What’s in store.
You have a plan.
This I believe.
So why do I fear
That You have left me?
Why do I pray
To You each night
If all I feel is endless shame-
I’m left alone with fright.
Maybe You’re mad
And have left for good.
Why shouldn’t You leave?
I know I would.
I’m scared right now
And I’m hurting.
Where are You now, O Lord?
When I pray to lift this burden?
Did I take You for granted?
Have I become numb?
Did I give You the cold shoulder?
I’m scared of who I’ve become.
I don’t know what to say
So I just turn over to sleep.
What’s the point of trying?
My failure just seems too deep.
My pain is growing.
Yet I hide it well.
My fears always linger.
A smile, I seem to impel.