Fighting For

I let the little things control my world.
I let them beat me down with a baseball bat.
Begging for mercy, I scream.
"I can't take this anymore!"
I run into the battle field with open arms and a faithless heart.
Now that my blood has been revealed I want to fight.
but what am I fighting for?
for myself?
I hate myself.
I don't want anyone to see it, but they do.
So I fight to fight?
fight to concur?
fight to reveal my wounds?
I wish I knew.