Pretending

It's hard to act like everything is fine when it's not, but I do it all the time so they can't see through my facade. Sitting here, in my room crying over something that won't happen ever again or soon. I know I said it doesn't hurt but I lied, I lied when I told you everything was fine. I lied so you wouldn't feel bad about knowing I cried. I didn't want to bother you with my emotional burden, but please try to understand when I tell you I'm hurting. My heart is on fire, my feelings aflame, the more I think about it, the more it can't be contained. I'm not saying I hate you, I'm not saying I'll replace you. All I'm saying is that I miss you, I miss the you who used to care about us, who cared about me, who cared about trust. It feels like you're someone else now. I can't just pretend that it doesn't bother me but it does. I care about you a lot, but I guess you forgot just how sensitive I can be. It's really hard for me to believe. I only keep pretending around you because I'm scared you'll leave. I'm an emotional wreck. I get it, I get it. We can't be together but then why are you saying things like you'll love me forever? I can tell that it hurts you but you don't seem to care. I can tell how you feel although you think I'm not aware. You're the center of my world and I'd do anything to keep being your girl. I know you're not cruel, this is the kindest break up I've been through but in all honesty I can never see the rest through. It doesn't stop it from hurting like hell.